Good Sex:
In our Good Sex series, we are today beginning a three-part serial of: 21 Foreplay Ideas & Tips You’ll Be Dying to Try
Sometimes the buildup is the best part.
Done right, the buildup to sex can be just as good as the main event—especially with these foreplay ideas.
Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or having first-time hookup, foreplay tends to get overlooked. Part of the reason? It’s easy for foreplay tips to feel a little contrived: Start by making out, move on to some over-the-bra action, make your way below the belt. But foreplay doesn’t have to be quite so paint-by-the-numbers. We asked sex therapists and experts to weigh in with their favorite foreplay ideas. You’re going to want to try them all the next time you get frisky.i
1. Relive your best moments.
Relationship fact: The early days of your romance tend to be the hottest and heaviest. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still capture that gotta-have-you-now passion. Next time you and your partner are getting intimate, use those early hookups as inspiration to re-create one of your past encounters, says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D., a certified sex therapist and fellow and clinical supervisor of the American Board of Sexology. This can start before sex—for example, going to one of your old date-night spots or wearing the same clothes you wore during a hot moment at the beginning of your relationship. Then, later in the night, break out a move you used to do in bed that really turned you both on.
2. Start off outside the bedroom.
Another hallmark of those hot early hookups is that they don’t necessarily happen in the bedroom. If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else where you don’t typically do it, says sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D., a board-certified clinical sexologist. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” she says. You can either lead your partner to the bedroom afterward or just have sex right then and there. You might be surprised how many places to have sex you’ve been overlooking.
3. Talk dirty.
Dirty talk can be ridiculously effective for getting turned on—it’s an especially good way to initiate foreplay. Not sure where to start? No need to overthink it. Sometimes the most effective dirty talk can be as simple as just stating exactly what you want your partner to do to you in your most seductive voice.
4. Cool it.
Heat and cold can both add a lot to the sensations you’re already feeling. One often recommended (and maybe overused) foreplay tips for men is to suck on an ice cube before giving oral sex. In reality, the idea of a chilly penis might not be such a turn on for your partner, but you can still play with temperature in other erogenous zones—like running an ice cube down their neck on a steamy summer day.
5. Heat things up.
To play with heat, try dripping warm wax on each other’s bodies (just make sure to get your partner’s permission first) or use a warming lube. Playing with hot and cold—or the two combined—should create “a delicious shiver,” says Six.
6. Do a little dance.
Looking to up the ante during foreplay? Have your partner sit on the bed, put on an anthem that always has you feelin’ yourself (cough, anything by Rihanna, cough) and give them a lap dance. For some added excitement, have your partner start off fully dressed so you can personally remove their garments one by one. Or if you’re feeling extra bold, do your dance in the buff.
7. Make foreplay an all-day event.
Foreplay doesn’t need to be limited to the bedroom. Whether it’s sexy texts throughout the day or stolen kisses while you’re doing errands, foreplay can start well before the main event. Tease each other throughout the entire day for extra heat.
To be continued tomorrow.
